Dating Online Safely Online dating is generally safe, and much matchmaking good has emerged from technological benefits afforded by the internet. However, stories of online predators and scammers suggest the Internet has a dark side. This article will outline how you can protect yourself and identity while enjoying the benefits of online daters with millions of other consumers. Covering the Obvious Never give out passwords; or secure information such as financial numbers or combination lock numbers. In addition, be very wary if the person you’re dating has an “unbeatable business proposition” or requests money. Remember that when meeting people, most individuals tend to look for the good in people, and consequently, give people the benefit of the doubt. While this practice is not wrong, never give out super sensitive information no matter how reasonable the excuse may seem. Trusting Your Gut Instinct It is a good idea to sit down and think of the information you are willing to provide to the people you meet before you become “involved.” As the stages of your relationship progress, you can readjust the limits you set. Remember to always trust your “gut feelings” when setting these limits. They are generally correct. Provide a Recent Photo of Yourself and Request one from Others The Internet’s nature allows for people to be anonymous if they please. Anonymity makes it easy for people to misrepresent themselves. However, providing a recent and genuine photo of you will help open up the lines of communication in an honest and open way. When others know your true appearance, and you know what your online matches look like, you establish early honesty concerning your appearance. This generally spawns greater honesty in all communications with your match. Ask Probing Questions After you exchange photos, it is a good idea to get to know people by chatting with them online. It is a good idea to use the in-house chat services provided by many of the online dating sites. This is because the online dating services keep your identity, including email and phone numbers private until you are ready to provide this information. When asking questions, it is a good idea to introspectively examine your life. What kind of activities, behaviors or practices do you do which tells a lot about yourself. For example: Sally enjoys talking with her parents. She knows that the good relationship she has with her parents has helped her stay an upright person. She values this relationship a lot. In turn, Sally can ask her online matches about their parents and how often they speak with their guardians.
While this method is not perfect, it can help you find out more about the person before you feel comfortable making more direct contact with the person. In addition to these probing questions, ask yourself: is what he or she saying matching their profile? Does it match what they have said in the past? If not, the inconsistencies could be a red flag for an individual trying to impress you by exaggerating their true identity; or at worst, an online predator. Meeting the Person When you are ready to meet an individual, always meet in a crowded place such as a coffee shop or mall. If possible, bring a friend along on the first date. Never agree to meet in a dangerous or secluded area. In addition, carry a cell phone and notify at least one friend of your whereabouts and when you expect to be home. If possible, carry enough cash for a taxi ride to a safe place. Do not be afraid to ask an employee for help or protection. Lastly, do not be afraid to end the activity early if you feel discomfort by your date’s actions, behaviors, or words. Other Resources You may want to conduct a background check on a person. In addition, consult the help section of your online dating service. They may have additional tips and services unique to that site. Above all, have fun and meet new people. While most people are honest and looking for a solid relationship, the few predators out there require all to take cautionary steps while dating. < Return to Top References: 1. Yahoo Personals 2. Match 3. Lavalife Privacy / Contact Us
|